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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27326176">The Kitchen Knife Versus Sicheng's Feelings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinToTheSecondPower/pseuds/WinToTheSecondPower'>WinToTheSecondPower</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Strangers to Lovers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:56:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,591</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27326176</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinToTheSecondPower/pseuds/WinToTheSecondPower</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sicheng's new neighbor is unfairly hot. Louis interferes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>90</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Jaewin Summer Fic Fest 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Kitchen Knife Versus Sicheng's Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1. Soy Sauce.<br/>
Soy sauce. It’s salty as hell but brings great flavor to dishes. Kun always says to use it sparingly. The kitchen is always a mess. Servers running in and out, asking for special sauces or spices that sometimes they don’t carry. The smell of ethnic Thai, Korean, and Chinese food lingers in the air, and at the end of the day, that’s what Sicheng goes home smelling like. Grease, soy sauce, and apparently the very much spicy tom yum soup is splattered on Sicheng’s coat today. </p><p>He’s tired, but his day is never over when he gets home. Depending on how quickly the subway operates, Sicheng has anywhere from a half to a quarter of an hour to get ready for practice. He dances in his free time. Sicheng’s not sure what to classify it as, but he enjoys the style of dance he does at the studio. It’s exhilarating. </p><p>Yangyang strikes up conversation with Sicheng while he’s stretching. “How was the kitchen today, ge? Ten told me it was more chaotic than usual.” Sicheng thinks about it. It was true that today had a larger influx of customers than usual, but he enjoyed the pressure. </p><p>“Good,” Sicheng pulls his arm across his chest. “Jun spilled soy sauce on my jacket, though.” His face scrunches at the memory. The dark brown sauce splattered on his white jacket. </p><p>Taeyong calls them to attention. Sicheng starts listening. He waves to Yangyang as he makes his way over to the other side of the room to warm up with his friends. Sicheng likes Yangyang, he’s energetic, fresh into college, and a talented dancer. In a way, he thinks Yangyang resembles himself when he first came to Korea. Oh, to be an innocent kid again. Sicheng can only wish. </p><p>-</p><p>The kitchen and dance studio are the two places where Sicheng feels he can let loose and be free. His creativity is off the charts. The constant pressure he had felt (and still sometimes feels) leaves him in those sacred spaces. The pressure comes from his upbringing, strict and harsh. There was no creativity, no light. All darkness, like the night sky. The lack of stars in the sky due to pollution. </p><p>And as they say, teenagers rebel. Sicheng left China, moved to Korea, enrolled in university and hasn’t looked back since. It’s the best decision he has ever made. But, still, there were times where the stones of his childhood rested on his chest. Heavy and unrelenting. He feels it, drowning in the not-so-viscous soy sauce. The salt consuming him, dragging him under. </p><p>Some days the feeling is heavier than others. There is guilt that he feels, but he has Minghao to help remind him of why he left. The weight of unbroken salt rocks splayed across his chest holding him down. Minghao does his best with a pickaxe made of the strongest diamonds, but he doesn’t always make it down to the layer of Sicheng’s heart.</p><p> </p><p>2. Popsicles.<br/>
Popsicles. Cooling, but also sticky in the July heat. It’s his off day, and Sicheng sits in his crappy little apartment, two fans going, and popsicle in hand. Louis bounds onto the couch next to him, meowing for a bit of Sicheng’s popsicle. Sicheng lets him take a bite out of his watermelon popsicle. Cats can get hot too. </p><p>Summer is usually the start of things, whether it be moving, summer flings, or even a new neighbor in Sicheng’s case. </p><p>Sicheng is running late for work one day, pouring sweat in the July heat, trying his best to lock the door when he hears the door to his left start to open. Nobody’s lived in that apartment since Sicheng has begun living here, and its been two years since then. It might be the fact that it’s got a balcony that connects to Sicheng’s, or maybe nobody wanted to live in the left equivalent of Sicheng’s apartment. Whatever the reason, he doesn’t understand why there’s a new neighbor now. </p><p>Sicheng mumbles a “fuck” in mandarin under his breath as his door refuses to lock. He’s already eleven minutes late, and he can feel the sweat from the back of his neck starting to seep uncomfortably into his chef’s jacket. He finally jiggles the key in correctly and locks his door. So much for being early. He looks up to see his new neighbor staring at him, (Sicheng thinks his eyes are really pretty-- <i>snap out of it Sicheng!</i>) a slightly amused look on his face. Sicheng turns and sprints down the hall, not bothering to wait for the elevator. He’s already embarrassed himself enough for one day. </p><p>He’s eight minutes late for work in total. Sprinting from the subway to the restaurant made up a lot of time. As he starts to work on mincing garlic, Minghao snickers at him. Sicheng rolls his eyes. </p><p>-</p><p>Sicheng and Minghao don’t have an unorthodox relationship. Minghao is Sicheng’s best friend. (He hopes that Minghao considers him the same) It was easy. Two foreigners in a new country who barely spoke the language, but could communicate together in the same mother tongue. It’s Minghao that approaches Sicheng first, not understanding the instructions for their most recent assignment. Their professor is an asshole; he doesn’t let them ask questions. Sicheng gives help. Minghao understands. It goes from there. </p><p>Friendship with Minghao can be sweet, but also admittedly, sticky. Both men are very stubborn when it comes to their ideas for dishes and assignments, but at the end of the day, it boils down to one thing. They enjoy each other's company. Minghao is a safe place. He’s the first person Sicheng opens up to about how he really left China. </p><p>-</p><p>Sicheng remembers the day exactly. It’s close to four AM, and Sicheng is browsing the internet on his phone. Classic college life. Minghao is in the bed across from him, watching some Chinese drama which is apparently very popular. Sicheng scrolls and sees an article about Wenzhou. He hadn’t seen that name in a while. He clicks on the article in interest. It talks about how the fishing season was going. It includes a few pictures, and Sicheng recognizes the port. Zhuangyuanao port. His chest feels heavy. He feels as if he’s drowning in a sticky syrup, similar to the sweet ube popsicles they had made for an assignment. God, it had been so long since Sicheng had even thought about Wenzhou. He needs to get it off of his chest. </p><p>“Minghao?” He asks. “Are you busy right now?”</p><p>“Hm?” Minghao takes out an earbud. “No. What’s up?”</p><p>It all comes spilling out. The clenching in Sicheng’s chest that has been there for years spills out. The dam breaks, the tears flow, the sadness flows. It wasn’t easy to leave, but Sicheng knew it was for the best. Sicheng’s father had wanted him to take after him in the trade of fishing. It was simple. Sicheng didn’t want to do that, so he didn’t. It caused a rift between him and his parents. For days on end, the pressure was tense. His parents felt that the only way Sicheng would succeed was if he carried on the family tradition of being a fisherman and settling in China. His parents wouldn’t support him if he decided to do anything else. He left for Korea and never looked back. </p><p>Minghao sits with him when he finishes explaining. It had been a rough two years for Sicheng since he left China. But, things were looking up. A friend of a friend of Minghao’s needed line cooks for his restaurant. Culinary school wasn’t a waste afterall. Sicheng’s parents were wrong, and he was determined to prove that to them. </p><p>-</p><p>And two years later, he did. He was fine now.</p><p> </p><p>3. Sashimi.<br/>
Sashimi. It’s what Louis likes to eat, and also Sicheng’s least favorite fish to slice. He doesn’t understand why sashimi is so hard for him to cut, especially when Jun and Jisung seem to do it so effortlessly. It’s embarrassing that Jisung, a waiter in highschool, ends up showing Sicheng how to cut the fish the right way. It’s not even hard, but it’s Sicheng’s fucking hands that don’t seem to allow him to cut it properly. </p><p>Sicheng doesn’t think his day can get worse. Seemingly against all odds, it does. </p><p>He returns home later than expected because of his inability to cut Sashimi. The sweat from his back has absorbed into his shirt from under his coat, basically cooking him. He spends an extra hour at the restaurant tonight trying to figure out how to cut some damn fish. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Louis has somehow disappeared from his apartment. </p><p>Sicheng doesn’t know how, where, when, or why his cat is gone, but a quick sweep of his apartment reveals one thing. The balcony door has been unlocked, and it’s opened enough that a cat could slip by. His heart drops to his feet. Sicheng hopes he doesn’t see Louis on the pavement below. He really, really, hopes. There would be no chance of survival, he lives on the 27th floor. An unsettling feeling settles deep into his chest.</p><p>Stepping out onto the balcony, Sicheng braces himself, then peers over the edge. He doesn’t spot any cat carcass on the ground below. It eases his pounding heart a little bit, but not entirely. He still doesn’t know where his cat went. </p><p>His mind kicks into gear. Actually, his memory does. When adopting Louis at the shelter, the nurse had told him that Louis had a knack for exploring, and was able to jump fairly high. Sicheng looks to his right. His other neighbor’s balcony was too far of a jump, even for a human. But, the small wall between his balcony and his neighbor’s balcony wasn’t that tall. It barely reached over Sicheng’s hip. It was worth a shot to ask. </p><p>Sicheng then remembers that he would probably have to confront the same neighbor which had watched him struggle with his apartment. His face reddens at the thought of it, but he brushes it aside. He wants his cat back. </p><p>-</p><p>Sicheng puts on his battle armor. And by battle armor, he means his chef jacket which he had previously discarded. Grimacing, he slips it on over his sweat drenched shirt. He absentmindedly thinks he needs a shower.</p><p>Five minutes later, after a pep talk and bracing himself for confrontation, Sicheng finds himself in front of his neighbor’s apartment. </p><p>He raises his hand, and knocks.</p><p>After a few seconds, a boy with brown hair answers the door. He looks to be around Sicheng’s age, maybe a bit older, but overall in the early twenties range. Sicheng thinks that he’s really pretty. </p><p>“Can I help you?”</p><p>Snapping out of his own thoughts, Sicheng blinks, then pulls out his phone. “Have you seen a cat that looks like this?” Sicheng shows him his lockscreen. “I’m not sure where he went and-“</p><p>“Wait here one second,” the boy says, and maneuvers back into his apartment. Sicheng stands there, wide eyed. Now his heart rate is really going. His thoughts wander over to if his neighbor is secretly a serial killer, and this is how he goes. Looking for his cat.</p><p>A minute later, he returns with Louis in his arms. Albeit, Louis looks ready to kill the boy, scratches littering his arms that weren’t there a minute ago. Once he spots Sicheng, he leaps from his neighbor’s arms into Sicheng’s.</p><p>Sicheng stares, dumbfounded. Before he can open his mouth to ask how the hell, the boy speaks up.</p><p>“He was on my balcony, meowing really loudly. I didn’t want to just leave him there.” Sicheng deems this honest enough. He can’t think of another reason for him to take his cat, especially basing the facts on how Louis has scratched up his arms.</p><p>“Let me clean your cuts for you,” Sicheng says against better judgment. He wants to blame the lack of energy left in him, but it just feels like an automatic response after what he’s been through today. He’s never usually this forward, but his brain has also been melted, and not from just the hard lessons of today.</p><p>The boy laughs. Sicheng doesn’t know what’s so funny. He also thinks that his laugh is cute. <i>What the fuck, Sicheng?</i> “It’s all right.” Sicheng snaps out of his internal monologue. “I’m a medical school student, I’ve got it covered."</p><p>“Let me pay you back though, Louis can be a handful. And you took him in.” Sicheng thinks. “Wait here,” he says, “I have something for you.”</p><p>Sicheng quickly opens the door to his apartment and lets Louis in, and grabs something from the fridge before going back out. </p><p>“Here,” he says, thrusting the Tupperware into the boy’s arms. “These are leftovers from the kitchen today. I don’t like sashimi anyways.” Sicheng had given him the heaps of leftover sashimi he spent extra time at the restaurant cutting.</p><p>“Oh, I couldn’t possibly accept.”</p><p>“Please,” Sicheng begs, “it’s the least I can do for you.”</p><p>“Alright.” The boy smiles. Sicheng notices he has dimples. He likes that.</p><p>Sicheng turns back to go back into his apartment, but before he does, a voice stops him. “Wait!”</p><p>It’s the boy again. “What’s your name? I don’t believe I got in when I first moved in.”</p><p>“Sicheng.”</p><p>“Jaehyun. I’ll see you around,” he says. Jaehyun gives Sicheng a wave and a small smile. Sicheng smiles back.</p><p>The next day when Sicheng unlocks the door to go to work, the same tupperware container sits on his doorstep, with a note attached on top. </p><p>Thank you!<br/>
-Jaehyun :)</p><p> </p><p>4. Sichuan Pork<br/>
Sichuan pork. It’s a constant in Sicheng’s daily life, such as Jaehyun starts to become. Sicheng discovers after the first day Louis escapes into Jaehyun’s apartment, he seems to keep wanting to go back. The next day, Sicheng finds the door unlocked again, and Louis gone again. His face is once steaming red again as he goes to collect Louis from Jaehyun. </p><p>And it continues. Day after day, Sicheng returns to Jaehyun’s apartment with leftovers of whatever he was allowed to take home from the restaurant that day. And it’s not like Sicheng isn’t trying to limit Louis from escaping his apartment, but he just keeps finding a way around Sicheng’s methods. Chairs, tables, you name it, Sicheng has used it to block the door. </p><p>Sicheng is worried that Jaehyun minds, but each time he waves it off. </p><p>“Are you sure? You aren’t annoyed that Louis keeps coming over unannounced?” Sicheng says, after what’s probably the eighth day of Louis’ great adventure. Sicheng himself feels like he might be more tired than Louis and Jaehyun, combined. </p><p>Jaehyun shakes his head vehemently. “It’s really no problem at all. He keeps me company while I write papers and whatnot. He’s even stopped scratching me,” Jaehyun says, showing Sicheng his now healing arms. </p><p>“I just feel really bad about it. You shouldn’t be responsible for my pet,” says Sicheng, watching as Louis pads back into his apartment. “Plus, I don’t have any leftovers to give you today.”</p><p>“It’s alright, you don’t have to pay me back. But, I wouldn’t mind making you dinner sometimes.”</p><p>“W-what?” Sicheng sputters, taken aback. </p><p>“Sorry, that came out bolder than I expected,” Jaehyun apologizes, rubbing the nape of his neck. “I meant like if you want to, and if it’s more convenient for you. I see you heading off not so long after you get home, and I’m not sure if it’s more convenient.”</p><p>Sicheng blinks, heart pounding. It’s been a long time since he’s had to make new friends. “Um, yeah, sure. Are you sure it’s alright? I can always try the baby gate--”<br/>
“No, no,” Jaehyun laughs, “I want to.” </p><p>Sicheng blushes. “Alright.”</p><p>-</p><p>When Sicheng returns home from work the next day, there’s a sticky note on his door with Jaehyun’s number and a note that says “text me.” Sicheng thinks this is cute. </p><p>And later that night, after he texted Jaehyun to confirm the time, he heads over to his apartment. When Jaehyun opens the door, he’s in a cream colored turtleneck, and the first word that comes to Sicheng’s mind is comfortable. He shakes it from his mind and heads in. </p><p>Sicheng likes Jaehyun’s kitchen better than his own. The pots and pans are more organized, and he even has a spice cabinet. Sicheng thinks that it’s cute when Jaehyun shows off how he has it organized, his eyes lighting up when he goes over where he got the ideas. </p><p>Once Jaehyun finishes talking about his kitchen, he shows Sicheng his little dining area. He has a small table, set for two, Sichuan pork stirfry in two neat bowls. There’s a small rug underneath the table, and ambient lighting. </p><p>“You set this all up for me?” Sicheng asks, looking back at Jaehyun.</p><p>Jaehyun reaches back to scratch the nape of his neck. “I usually eat alone, but I thought it would look nicer if I decorated a bit.” </p><p>Sicheng laughs a bit. “That makes me feel special, thank you.”</p><p>Jaehyun beams.</p><p>Sicheng doesn’t understand why his heart beats so fast as he eats his Sichuan pork stirfry. Faster and faster it beats, and feels as if it stops when Jaehyun looks up at him. He feels content as he watches the boy in the cream colored turtleneck talk about how he tried to find something he thought Sicheng would like. </p><p>-</p><p>“So,” Jaehyun starts, while washing the dishes “You dance?”</p><p>“Hm? How’d you know?” Sicheng asks, slightly bewildered. He hadn’t really made small talk with Jaehyun other than when picking up Louis. Even though Sicheng usually struggled with talking in korean after a long day of using mostly Chinese in the kitchen, Jaehyun wasn’t mad when he made small grammatical mistakes. He kept the conversation flowing easily. </p><p>“Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo. He knows Jun, and when I mentioned you were my new neighbor he asked.”</p><p>“You work together?”</p><p>“We’re both residents at the hospital right now. He’s a year older than me, so he helps me out sometimes.”</p><p>“Ah, yeah, I dance. I’ve been doing it since I came to Korea. It’s sometime I enjoy doing in my offtime.” Sicheng says. Making new friends is hard. Talking is hard. Emotions are hard. But, Jaehyun makes it feel easier. Sicheng does his best to try and dodge questions about China and his family. </p><p>Sicheng learns a lot about Jaehyun that night. He’s in residency-- training to be a surgeon, saving lives. He feels as if his parents would compare Jaehyun to him. The same age, but heading towards a career path that will make more money in the end. An ugly thought plants itself into Sicheng’s mind, but he brushes it off as he stands to leave. Something else plagues his mind. He wants to come back. He wants to see Jaehyun again. It’s different, different from when he first met Minghao, Jun, hell, even Ten. It’s something within his heart drawing him back. </p><p>“Let’s eat again together tomorrow. I’ll cook this time. One of my bosses has this really good authentic pad thai recipe.” Sicheng says. </p><p>Jaehyun smiles. “I’ll look forward to seeing you, then.”</p><p>Sicheng smiles back. </p><p>The sweet and sticky Sichuan pork sauce oozes through Sicheng’s heart that night. As he lays in bed, looking through the open window, his heart feels lighter. His chest doesn’t feel as crushed as it usually does. He can breathe. </p><p> </p><p>5. Pad Thai<br/>
Sicheng sticks to his word on coming back the next day with plans to make Pad Thai. It happens to be one of his off days, but he has to go into the dance studio a bit later tonight, so he plans to stop by Jaehyun’s apartment a bit earlier. </p><p>Ten had told him about a little Thai market tucked in the corners of Seoul, so he stops there to pick up his ingredients. He makes sure to get all the ingredients he has listed on his phone. He made sure to ask Ten to send him his favorite recipe, and he had followed through. Sicheng mills through the various stands, where he looks for rice noodles and pad thai sauce. The essence of Pad Thai comes in the sauce, according to Ten. </p><p><i>You always want to add a bit of sugar to the base sauce,</i> a previous text from Ten reads. <i>Never buy a sauce with too much added sugar, it tastes weird. I usually use a specific brand.</i> Sicheng keeps his words in mind as he finds the aisle with the sauce. Looking at the shelf full of various shaped sizes and containers, Sicheng realizes that there are a lot more brands than he initially expected. </p><p>“Need help?” A voice asks from behind. Sicheng looks behind him to see an old woman standing there. </p><p>“Um, yeah, actually,” Sicheng mumbles out. He’s a cook! He should know these things, but there are just so many choices. </p><p>The old woman points to a jar at the very top. “That one. It’s the best sauce I’ve ever tasted. I got my husband to marry me by cooking him a dish with it.” </p><p>Sicheng blushes at the thought of marriage. He feels way too young to even think about marriage. “Thank you,” he says to the woman as he reaches up to grab the jar that she was pointing to. He doesn’t like how his mind reverts to a certain person when the old woman mentions the idea of marriage.</p><p>-</p><p>Later that night, around five, Sicheng shows up on Jaehyun’s doorstep with a bag full of ingredients. </p><p>“Hey,” Jaehyun greets him when he opens the door. “Come in, I have a gift for you.” </p><p>Sicheng slips off his shoes and follows Jaehyun in. He puts down his bag of supplies on the counter, and heads to where Jaehyun is standing near the breakfast bar.  “Here,” Jaehyun says, handing him a small package wrapped in tissue paper. “Go ahead and open it.”</p><p>“What’s this for?” Sicheng says, as he carefully starts undoing the string holding it all together.</p><p>Jaehyun hums in contentment as Sicheng gets the twine bow to untie. “Consider it a thank you for you spending your free time coming over.” Sicheng gets all of the tissue paper off, and in his hands is a grey and white striped apron. </p><p>“Oh Jaehyun, you didn’t have to,” Sicheng says as he unravels it all the way. </p><p>“I wanted to. Here, I’ll tie the back for you,” Jaehyun says. Sicheng slips it over his head and Jaehyun ties the back into a pretty bow. “I was getting a birthday gift for another friend and I saw this, and thought you might like it. It can also be considered a thank you for letting me watch Louis.”</p><p>Sicheng is one hundred percent sure that his face is beet red at this point. There’s no way it’s not. “Thank you,” Sicheng says. “I’ll put it to good use for sure.”</p><p>Sicheng looks to catch Jaehyun’s face that his ears are turning red. “It’s really no problem at all. I’m just grateful, again.” he says, moving his gaze away from Sicheng’s.</p><p>“Let’s get started, you can help me out, too.” Sicheng says, offering out his hand to Jaehyun. He takes it, and they walk to the kitchen. </p><p>-</p><p>Times works fast in the kitchen. Sicheng tells Jaehyun he has to leave a bit earlier tonight. Jaehyun says that’s okay, and they’ll make use of the time they have. Sicheng blushes. Jaehyun blushes. It feels like being back in highschool with a major crush, where brushing hands makes your cheeks radiate heat. That’s how Sicheng feels at least, smiling as he watches Jaehyun help him stir fry the noodles. </p><p>Conversation with Jaehyun flows in a different way. Being the same age somehow seems to form a similar connection between the two. It’s easy to relate to growing up to similar world events. Jaehyun shares his experience living in America for a little bit, so Sicheng feels it’s only right to share a bit about China. </p><p>“Do you ever miss it? Or want to go back?” Jaehyun says over a plate of delicious pad thai. </p><p>Sicheng thinks. There are a few ways to answer this question. “In a way, yes and no. There are a lot of things that I’ve grown accustomed to in Korea that are very different from China, and it would feel weird to go back now.”</p><p>Jaehyun nods along. “Do you miss your parents and family there?”</p><p> </p><p>The dreaded question Sicheng knew would come up sooner or later. This question also opens up a possibility for Sicheng to talk about the many things that have happened between him and his parents, but he’s not ready to tell Jaehyun just yet, so he goes with the simple answer. “I don’t talk to them anymore.” </p><p>Jaehyun nods again--and changes the subject to something else. </p><p>-</p><p>Once they finish, and Sicheng is standing at the door saying his goodbyes, he gets a rush of confidence. Usually he isn’t the one to approach a person first. He isn’t one to engage in conversation first, but this is different. </p><p>“Do you want to make this a regular thing?”</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun is a bit taken aback, but smiles nonetheless. “If you want to, I really enjoy spending time with you Sicheng.”</p><p>“I’d love to.”</p><p>Sicheng smiles to himself through the full practice. </p><p>-</p><p>The next day at the restaurant, Sicheng is in a good mood. A very good mood apparently, because Minghao takes notice. </p><p>“Sicheng smiling this early in the morning? Who would’ve thought,” Minghao teases as he gives Sicheng more leek to chop. </p><p>“Shut up,” Sicheng whines, “You’re just angry because you’re not a morning person and require a large amount of caffeine to operate.” </p><p>In the far distance, Jun snickers. Minghao whips his head around so quickly, Sicheng thinks he gets whiplash just from watching. A lengthy string of curses come out of Minghao’s mouth as he starts to curse at Jun. “This just proves Sicheng’s point,” Jun says, dumping the inedible parts of some vegetables into the rubbish bin nearby. </p><p>Had it not been for Kun watching, Sicheng was sure that Minghao would’ve had Jun’s head. </p><p>On their break, Minghao doesn’t let Sicheng go this time. “You’re not usually this happy. I know you like the back of my hand, Sicheng. What’s up?” Sicheng squirms in his seat. There’s no escaping curious Minghao.</p><p>“Remember how one of the apartments next to mine was empty? Well, you’ll never guess what happened,” Sicheng says. Minghao doesn’t miss the sparkle in Sicheng’s eyes. </p><p>He tells Minghao all about Jaehyun, (leaving out the parts about how he thinks that Jaehyun is cute, of course) including Louis’ now daily adventures. </p><p>“You’re not going to do anything about Louis?” Minghao asks, running his fingers over the rings on his other hand. </p><p>“Honestly,” Sicheng starts, “It’s kind of a win-win situation. I always make sure to ask him if he’s really comfortable, but he says Louis keeps him company when he’s writing papers. I get to make a new friend. Weren’t you the one that suggested that I make more friends?”</p><p>“It sounds like you’re describing some highschool crush,” Minghao deadpans. </p><p>Sicheng feels his face go red. He wants to think that it’s the same with Jaehyun as it is with Jun, Minghao, hell, even Yangyang, but he knows it isn’t. What he feels inside is different. Jaehyun makes him feel some other way. It’s easy, Sicheng thinks. Actually he knows what he’s feeling. This isn’t the first time. </p><p>He doesn’t want to drown again. Drown in that sweet, sticky, Pad Thai sauce. He’s not willing to go through the same pain again. Feeling as if you can’t breathe, chest tight, lungs filling with the savory sauce. It’s not viscous; it doesn’t take a long time to fill your chest, it takes a long time to learn to breathe again. </p><p>Sicheng knows. He’s had heartbreak. Once. </p><p>Minghao knows. Jun knows. And he leaves it at that.</p><p> </p><p>6. Cheesecake<br/>
Cheesecake is one of Sicheng’s favorite foods. When it’s made right, (slightly sweet, strawberry sauce drizzled on top) he considers it one of the many dangerous foods that can be used to bribe him. </p><p>God knows how many times Minghao has used cheesecake to bribe Sicheng into doing things he normally wouldn’t do without a lot of convincing. Go grocery shopping with Minghao because Mingyu is in Japan for business? Cheesecake. Switch shifts with Minghao? Cheesecake. Go shopping with Minghao? (Sicheng especially hates this one) Cheesecake.</p><p>It’s also the only birthday gift that Sicheng is willing to accept from Minghao. It’s tradition. Go to the same small bakery every year, eat some cheesecake, and don’t acknowledge the day. It’s not that Sicheng doesn’t like his birthday, he just doesn’t like the reminder of it. It irks him similar to the way he feels when Cheesecake is too sweet. But this year is different. There is no Minghao this year, because he was going on a trip with Mingyu. </p><p>Sicheng was content with this, he honestly didn’t mind. If he had to spend his birthday alone, it’d be similar to his last year of highschool, and first year of college. Maybe he’d pick up a slice of cheesecake on the way home from work that day. </p><p>-</p><p>Fifteen minute breaks were great. Settling in the break room, Sicheng pulled out his phone to check his notifications and maybe play some games before time was up. He didn’t notice when Jun sauntered in, weary from a long day. </p><p>“Ah, Sicheng,” he whined, “my muscles ache from standing for too long.”</p><p>“That means you’re getting old,” Sicheng quipped, still focused on his game. </p><p>Jun kicked his shin from under the table. “Ow! What was that for!” Sicheng yelped, grabbing his shin and dropping his phone. </p><p>“Respect your elders,” Jun said with a playful roll of his eyes. “What are you going to do for your birthday now that Minghao is out for the next few days?”</p><p>“Hm, probably just pick up some cheesecake on the way home. You know that bakery near the waterport stop of the metro? No need for celebration. Just me, my cheesecake, and Louis.”</p><p>“Sounds sad,” Jun said, pinching his arm. </p><p>“It’s my idea of fun.”</p><p>“We’ll see about that, Jun said.”</p><p>Sicheng got a message notification. Jaehyun had texted him a picture of him in his scrubs, along with <i>“have fun at work :)” </i>Sicheng smiled to himself, and replied with a sticker. </p><p>Jaehyun’s hospital shifts had started increasing a bit, meaning that Sicheng would start making sure that the lock on his balcony door was extra secure, so Louis couldn’t get out when they both weren’t home. Who cooks dinner had started evening out. Whoever got home first would cook, or order takeout, depending on how tired they were. Sicheng hadn’t realized that Jaehyun was actually a pretty decent cook, being able to create some dishes he had never heard of before. </p><p>-</p><p>Sicheng’s birthday passes relatively quickly, and it brings many surprises. </p><p>The restaurant work absolutely kicked his ass today; it seemed like the customer volume had doubled from normal. Sicheng had cut so many vegetables he wasn’t sure if he was human or robot anymore. Even Ten, who rarely ever looks tired, (Sicheng wonders how, the man must be on caffeine 24/7) seems like he might drop after his shift. There’s not much left in the second shift line cooks and chefs. Doyoung tells them he’ll have third shift clean up, and sends the second shift on their way, with some of his coworkers telling him to have a good birthday on his way out. </p><p>Sicheng realizes halfway on the walk (sprint) to the metro that making it home to eat and maybe grab a quick shower before dance starts is going to be nearly impossible. He shoots Jaehyun a quick text telling him not to wait around before jumping onto the metro heading in the opposite direction from his home. He’s lucky that he’s always got an extra change of clothing in his work bag, or else this situation could’ve been worse. </p><p>Sicheng arrives at the dance studio, albeit a bit early, and figures he might as well stretch and warm up a bit now. Yangyang comes over, and Sicheng chats with him for a bit before Taeyong calls everyone in to discuss new developments. </p><p>“Our exhibition was confirmed for next month,” Taeyong says, “so let’s try and work a bit harder towards our goals to perfect choreography.” </p><p>Yangyang leans in to whisper to Sicheng “Are you bringing anyone? My friend Renjun is coming.” Sicheng doesn’t usually bring anyone to their exhibitions; he doesn’t have anyone to bring. Usually Mingyu picks up Minghao and Sicheng and they go out for food together after, but this time Sicheng does have someone to ask. </p><p>He leans in towards Yangyang to whisper back, “It’s a maybe.” </p><p>-</p><p>Sicheng doesn’t feel his limbs. He’s so,so, incredibly tired and hungry. He just wants a warm meal, a shower, and a solid eight hours of sleep. Dragging himself to the metro station, Sicheng is sure that he’ll barely be able to get himself upstairs, even with the elevator. Not the best way to end your birthday, but better than some of his previous ones. The once clean black shirt he has on is now sweaty and soaked. Sicheng feels gross. </p><p>Once Sicheng settles into his seat on the metro, he pulls out his phone to pass time, and there’s a text notification from Jaehyun. </p><p>&gt;From Jaehyun:<br/>
Stop by my apartment when you get home</p><p>&gt;To Jaehyun:<br/>
Alr</p><p>As Sicheng stands in the elevator, he wonders why Jaehyun asked him to stop by. There’s no way he could’ve known that it was his birthday, he doesn’t have it written anywhere, nor has he told Jaehyun. Sicheng thinks that maybe he left something there the other night, but he’s not completely sure. Sicheng raises his fist and knocks once, twice. </p><p>The door opens, and Jaehyun is standing there, holding a slice of cheesecake with a candle. </p><p>“Happy Birthday.”</p><p>Sicheng is sure his cheeks will break from how hard he’s smiling. </p><p>-</p><p>Once Sicheng is inside, (<i>and Jaehyun engulfs him in a hug, “Jaehyun! I’m sweaty! Don’t-” “I don’t care”</i>) the smile he had on his face doesn’t leave. </p><p>The first question Sicheng asks is “How did you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“I would recommend thanking Jun and Minghao, you know,” Jaehyun said, pulling out Sicheng’s chair at the breakfast bar for him. </p><p>“Wow, such a gentleman,” Sicheng laughed, taking a seat. “I’m going to kill them when I go to work later.” </p><p>“Noooo, you shouldn’t, or else you wouldn't have gotten this piece of cheesecake,” says Jaehyun, “they told me the exact bakery and everything.” </p><p>Something in Sicheng’s brain clicks, “Who told you, though? I don’t think either of them know you, and I haven’t been giving your number to strangers.” </p><p>“Has Jun told you? He’s dating Wonwoo.” Jaehyun says, grabbing two plates out of his cupboard. “I guess Jun must’ve texted Wonwoo at some point, because he gave me directions.” </p><p>Sicheng hums as Jaehyun sets down the slice of cheesecake down in front of him. “Wonwoo told me to get you New-York style, and he said that I should try the peach cheesecake.” </p><p>“Peach cheesecake? That’s new,” Sicheng holds up his fork. “Cheers? To another year alive?” </p><p>“Cheers.” </p><p>-</p><p>Long after the cheesecake is devoured, Jaehyun breaks out some wine. He pours himself and Sicheng a glass. Sicheng hasn’t been tipsy in a while. As they’ve migrated to the couch, the more alcohol consumed, the more the boundaries are broken down. They chat about anything and everything, and Jaehyun just gets Sicheng. He understands what he’s trying say regardless of his sucky Korean. He doesn’t care. It’s an easy conversation, unlike with some other people. </p><p>To Sicheng, when he’s not communicating in Chinese, sometimes it feels like a job interview trying to get the words across. He understands the main point, but he doesn’t have the vocabulary for it. But Jaehyun, oh, Jaehyun, he doesn’t care that Sicheng’s syllables slur together (but maybe that’s the alcohol talking) </p><p>Jaehyun moves to put his head on Sicheng’s lap. Sicheng doesn’t flinch. His heart is definitely beating too fast.</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jaehyun whispers.</p><p>“Tell you what?” Sicheng whispers back.</p><p>Jaehyun looks up into Sicheng’s eyes, “That it was your birthday, I would’ve gotten you a gift.”</p><p>Sicheng is way too tipsy for this conversation. “It’s a long list of reasons. I would tell you, but I don’t want to bore you.”</p><p>“I’ll listen.”</p><p>So Sicheng talks. It’s like the first time he tells Minghao, his story, his background, his battle scars. Why he’s here. And Jaehyun listens. Listens to the tragedy, and also the happiness Sicheng has found since he left China and came to Korea. </p><p>“Do you ever miss it? China?” </p><p>Sicheng doesn’t have to think hard. “No,” he says, I’ve found my people here in Korea now. </p><p>“You’re really something different, Sicheng. I could never be as brave as you, leaving my family like that. All of my family is here in Korea or America.” </p><p>“Not really, sometimes I feel like I was a coward for doing it.”</p><p>Jaehyun abruptly sits up. “You could never be a coward, Sicheng.” Jaehyun grabs his face, and leans up to place a kiss on the top of Sicheng’s head. “Have a good birthday, and don’t doubt yourself.” </p><p>Sicheng is shocked, but also pleasantly surprised. He’s sure his face is as hot as an oven right now, but Jaehyun’s ears and cheeks are also fire truck red. Things are going good for Sicheng. </p><p>“Thank you Jaehyun.”</p><p>-</p><p>Later that night, when Sicheng returns home and finally makes it into his bed, he thinks he had a good birthday. Just like how he likes his cheesecake. Slightly sweet, and with Jaehyun’s red blush accompanying it. Sicheng doesn’t really think about how Jaehyun kissed him on the head. He felt happy. That’s what mattered to him. As Sicheng dozes off, Louis climbs into his bed and nestles next to him.<br/>
-</p><p>A few days later, over some quick takeout, Sicheng asks Jaehyun if he wants to come and see his exhibition. (Jaehyun says yes, of course.) </p><p> </p><p>7. Macarons<br/>
Macarons are hard to master, and if the mix is over-folded, it can backfire on you, bigtime.</p><p>Sicheng doesn’t think about that night with Jaehyun, and Jaehyun doesn’t bring it up. Sicheng thinks that a kiss on the head doesn’t mean anything, right? It’s not like they’re getting married. Just a gesture between friends. Nothing more.</p><p>As the last few days of October wrap up, Sicheng suddenly feels like he’s been swept up in a whirlwind of work and dance. He makes it home to feed Louis, but by the time he’s done with the mandatory house chores, he passes out immediately. He puts in more work for both his dance studio and his career. The deadlines seem to draw closer and closer, and Sicheng barely gets a day off. </p><p>It takes a toll on his and Jaehyun’s relationship, too. Sicheng is too tired most days to even stay awake past a quick meal. Sicheng knows that Jaehyun is worried about him, but Sicheng brushes it off. </p><p>It’s the second time in two weeks that they’re having dinner that Jaehyun brings it up. </p><p>“You’ve been working a lot lately,” Jaehyun brings up timidly. </p><p>Sicheng looks up from his Naengmyeon. It was well past midnight, and he had to be back at the restaurant at eight to open up. Recently a flu had been going around the kitchen, so the staff was somewhat short. “Sorry,” Sicheng apologized. “A lot is happening.” </p><p>“Just don’t overwork yourself Sicheng, I’m worried about you,” </p><p>Sicheng pinched Jaehyun’s cheek, “You worry too much. I’ll be fine.” </p><p>-</p><p>Sicheng was, in fact, not fine. </p><p>It was late, too late, and one week before the exhibition. Only Minghao, Taeyong, and Sicheng were left in the studio that night. </p><p>There was one flip, just one flip that Sicheng hadn’t been able to get. Minghao had shown him how to do it twenty minutes ago, and Sicheng still hadn’t been able to get it. </p><p>“You have to push forward with your back leg more so that you have the speed to land it,” Minghao said, water bottle in hand. “Maybe you should take a break, you’ve been going at it for a while.”</p><p>“Once I get this flip, I’ll take a break,” Sicheng says, resetting his posture. </p><p>“Alright but--” </p><p><i>Crunch</i> </p><p>“Oh my god! Sicheng!” Minghao ran over, crouching down to where Sicheng was whimpering on the ground. “What did you hurt? Let me see.”</p><p>“Wrist, I think I sprained it.” Sicheng gritted out. He <i>definitely</i> did not land that flip. </p><p>“Taeyong hyung! Do we have ice?” Minghao shouted from across the room.</p><p>Taeyong looked up from his phone, “we don’t, but do you want me to take you to the emergency room? We’re going to have to alter the choreography if you can’t do certain moves.”</p><p>“It’s alright Taeyong hyung. I’ll just go home and ice it. And OW-” Minghao had grabbed him by the ear, and had switched to Chinese to make sure Taeyong didn’t understand. </p><p>“Sicheng, you are not fine. Your wrist is sprained, and you’ve been overworking yourself. I don’t want you taking the metro home by yourself at this time of night, and there’s no way in hell you’re walking. I’m calling Jaehyun, because he can look at your wrist, and take you home.”</p><p>Sicheng lunged to grab the phone Minghao had in his hand, “No, no! I’m not his responsibility to look after, I should take care of things myself like an adult. Give me the phone Minghao.” He can’t. He’s embarrassed. This isn’t Minghao’s matter, or Jaehyun’s problem. It’s his own to deal with. He doesn’t need someone to look after him. </p><p>“This isn’t something I’m taking no for an answer for,” Minghao lashed back, tapping the call button on Jaehyun’s contact. </p><p>“God,” Sicheng said, laying all the way down, “I’m so tired, I don’t want to deal with this right now.”</p><p>“Jaehyun says he’s on the way.”</p><p>-</p><p>For the time being, Sicheng glared daggers into Minghao’s back as he talked with Taeyong about changing the choreography. Sicheng wasn’t weak. He could still perform. His wrist was fine. He’d be fine. There was nothing for them to be worried about, they were overreacting. </p><p>Minghao slides Sicheng his phone from across the room. Sicheng grumbles a thanks back, and checks his notifications. There are a few missed calls and texts from Jaehyun, but he figures that he can just talk to him about it later. Sicheng lies there, trying to ignore the aching of his wrist, when he hears the door to the studio open. He lifts his head to see Jaehyun. </p><p>For the first time since Sicheng has known him, Jaehyun looks angry. And not just inconvenienced angry, very angry. </p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>“Let me see your wrist.”</p><p>Jaehyun crouches down, putting down a bag which Sicheng assumes is filled with medical supplies. </p><p>“How did you hurt it?” Jaehyun says, holding Sicheng’s wrist in his hands.</p><p>Sicheng winces a bit as Jaehyun presses down a bit too hard, “I miss-landed a flip. Jaehyun, I’m really fine, there’s no need for this.” Sicheng makes to stand up, but Jaehyun makes him sit back down. </p><p>“Sicheng. Your wrist is sprained, and I highly advise against practicing any harder for a week until it heals fully. You’ll be able to do the showcase, but you need to let it heal fully.” Jaehyun watches as Sicheng visibly grimances at that thought, and he pulls Sicheng up by his good hand. “We’ll talk more later.”</p><p>Minghao hands Sicheng his bag, and whispers to him in Chinese that if he disobeys Jaehyun he’ll boil his toes. Taeyong thanks Jaehyun, and holds the door open for the duo as they exit the studio. </p><p>-</p><p>The ride home is mostly silent, as Sicheng isn’t sure what to say. He knows that Jaehyun is mad at him, but he doesn’t want to make it worse. </p><p>Hell breaks loose once they get upstairs. </p><p>Jaehyun had invited forced Sicheng into his apartment to get him ice before he went back to his own place for the night. </p><p>“Jaehyun, really, I’m fine,”</p><p> </p><p>“Sicheng! You’re obviously not!” He snapped, looking up from wrapping Sicheng’s wrist in ace bandage. “You’ve been overworking yourself since the month started, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one worried about you! You haven’t been eating or resting properly, and I’m worried for you. Now with this wrist sprain, I’m really worried.”</p><p>Sicheng was taken aback. “Then just stop worrying about me! It’s not that hard. I don’t need you to look after me. It’s not like I’m a toddler.” </p><p>“There’s a difference between not being able to take care of yourself and refusing to care for yourself. You’re refusing to care for yourself, Sicheng.” Jaehyun clips the bandage together, and goes to the fridge to look for ice. “Sicheng, I care, Jun cares, Minghao cares, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”</p><p>Sicheng’s face is red hot with anger. Jaehyun shouldn’t have to tell him what to do. He’s an adult for crying out loud! “Jaehyun. I’m fine, really. Just drop it.”</p><p>Jaehyun turns around from where he is with the ice, putting it into a bag. “Sicheng,” his voice is strained, “I really care about you, and I hate seeing you in this state.”</p><p>Something finally snaps in Sicheng. “It’s not like you’re my boyfriend or anything! Minghao is my friend too and he doesn’t do this stuff for me! He knows that I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” </p><p>The silence in the room is deafening as Sicheng and Jaehyun stare at each other in shock. Sicheng’s too much of a hothead for this. There are too many things running through his mind right now. It’s not like Jaehyun would want to be his goddamned boyfriend anyways. </p><p>Before Jaehyun can tell him to hold on and wait, Sicheng is grabbing his bag and dashing out the door. Sicheng’s been overfolded. Pushed to his limit. Too much sweetness and emotion for one night. He passes out on his bed, still sweaty, frustrated, and hurting. </p><p> </p><p>8. Ramen<br/>
It’s halfway through the week when Jun stops Sicheng before he leaves work. </p><p>“Let’s talk.”</p><p>Jun takes Sicheng to a ramen place, sits Sicheng down, and orders for them before asking the real questions. Sicheng had always thought of ramen as a comfort food and easy meal, but now it felt like it was threatening him. It’s been a few days since the incident with Jaehyun, and Sicheng had been taking it easy on his wrist, but still working just as hard. </p><p>“What happened with Jaehyun?”</p><p>Sicheng gulps. Jun looks scary. His stomach churns with anxiety. Minghao only knew about half the story, and also knew that he was upset over it. The bar-type setup of the restaurant seemed to be too small now. </p><p>“We had a fight,” Sicheng states, drumming his fingers on the wood countertop. “I messed up.”</p><p>Jun hums as he takes a sip from his glass of water. “Wonwoo’s noticed. He says Jaehyun is different during his shifts now. More sad.”</p><p>Sicheng drops his head to the table. “I was an absolute asshole and messed it up.” He looks at Jun. “Does Wonwoo know if he hates me?”</p><p>Jun sighs, watching the condensation drip down his water glass. “Quite the opposite, actually. Jaehyun really likes you.” The waiter swings by to give them their bowls of ramen. The steam is hot on Sicheng’s face. Sicheng looks to Jun, who is already eating, and they continue their meal in silence.</p><p>Once they’re done, Jun breaks the ice again. “Wonwoo used to really hate me, you know.” Sicheng looks up. “He couldn’t stand me when we were in college. He thought I was annoying. But, I guess after a group project, he started warming up to me.”</p><p>“Why are you telling me this?” Sicheng asks. The lights are now dimmed at the bar area, and the stereo plays soft jazz.</p><p>“Because,” Jun pauses, “You might not have noticed, but you took care of yourself more when Jaehyun was actively in your life.”</p><p>Sicheng starts to open his mouth, but Jun cuts him off. “I don’t think you should push him away, Sicheng. I think he’ll give you a second chance. Don’t lose hope yet.”</p><p>“What do you mean by second chance?”</p><p>Jun shoots him a look. </p><p>“How did you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sicheng, anybody within a hundred mile radius knows you like Jaehyun but yourself.”</p><p>Sicheng blushes, and takes it to heart. He’ll try and rebuild his burnt bridge with Jaehyun. </p><p>-</p><p>Sicheng really does want to try. He wants to have the time, but he just doesn’t. Before he knows it, his wrist is healed and he’s at the exhibition. Minghao is clapping him on the back, and Taeyong is congratulating everyone on their hard work. Sicheng is tired as hell, but he knows that deep inside it was all worth it. Watching the audience clap and roar with excitement was enough for him. </p><p>It’s later, when everyone changes out of their performance attire and into their suits, that Jun comes up to him, and claps him on the back. </p><p>“Is your wrist alright?” Jun asks, brows scrunched in worry.</p><p>“Yeah,” Sicheng hums as he slings his duffel over his shoulder. “Is Wonwoo going to meet you at the reception area?”</p><p>“Hm? Yeah. Did anyone come to watch you?” Jun eyes him with something Sicheng can’t exactly decipher. </p><p>There’s a pang in his heart as he remembers Jaehyun was supposed to come watch him, but he hasn’t had the time to talk yet. “No. I think Minghao and Mingyu are just going to bring me home like usual, anyways.” Sicheng tightens the strap on his shoulder.</p><p>“Alright,” is all Jun says as they continue to walk towards the reception area. </p><p>The reception area is filled with family, friends, and romantic partners as the dance troupe makes their way in. Sicheng scans the room, and spots many familiar faces. Yangyang’s parents, Mingyu, and Taeyong’s parents. For a minute, he wonders what it’d be like if his parents had come to watch him. He wonders if they’d be proud of their only child, making a path for himself in life. Sicheng chooses to ignore those thoughts as he watches Mingyu kiss Minghao.</p><p>Lost in his own daze, someone suddenly elbows him in the side. Sicheng looks to spot Jun, and looks at him with a confused expression on his face for a split second, before Jun clarifies. </p><p>“Look at Wonwoo.”</p><p>Sicheng looks for Wonwoo in the crowd, and oh--</p><p>Oh. </p><p>
  <i>Oh.</i>
</p><p>Jaehyun is here. </p><p>Jaehyun is <i>here.</i> Sicheng’s mind fires into overdrive. And then it stops. Time seemingly slows. Sicheng drops his bag and just runs. He runs towards Jaehyun, and pulls him into his arms. And for a while neither of them say anything. Jaehyun is rubbing circles into his back. God, how he missed this. </p><p>Jaehyun is first to pull back. “I think I have something to say to you.” Sicheng blinks. Jaehyun continues. “I’m sorry for being inconsiderate of your feelings, and I just--”</p><p> </p><p>“You shouldn’t be sorry. At all. I acted like an ass and you were just trying to help me. I’m really, truly, sorry Jaehyun, I shouldn’t have said all those things.” Sicheng doesn’t know why he keeps talking, but he does. “And I like you, Jaehyun. Like, a lot. I understand after everything you dealt with if you don’t want to see me anymore or-”</p><p>Jaehyun laughs. “Would it be inappropriate if I asked if I could kiss you right now?”</p><p>“Extremely.” </p><p>Jaehyun leans in to kiss him. Time slows again. It’s just Sicheng and Jaehyun. Jaehyun and Sicheng. Jaehyun’s lips are warm against his own. He tastes like the mint mouthwash that Sicheng had seen on his bathroom counter before. And Sicheng smiles into the kiss. He savours every moment of it. </p><p>Jaehyun starts to pull away, but before he does, Sicheng lands one more kiss on the edge of his lips. </p><p>“Let’s get out of here,” Sicheng says, intertwining his hand with Jaehyun’s. </p><p> </p><p>9. Burgers<br/>
It’s greasy. </p><p>Not just the burgers, but also the way that Sicheng leans over the console center to kiss Jaehyun before they head into the restaurant. Jaehyun’s once clean pressed dress shirt is now wrinkled from where Sicheng has his hands wrung in it. </p><p>Jaehyun takes a sharp breath in as Sicheng presses a kiss to the spot underneath his chin. </p><p>Sicheng pulls away. “Is this okay?” he asks, “we don’t have to do anything now, we can just go in and eat.” </p><p>Jaehyun is red. “No, no, wait, here I’ll help you over the console. Sit in my lap.”</p><p>“Did you just ask me to sit in your lap?” Sicheng wants to laugh. He doesn’t. </p><p>Jaehyun reaches over to steady his hands,“Shut up or I’m not helping you.” </p><p>When all is secure, and Sicheng is in Jaehyun’s lap, life seems to flow at a different pace. Sicheng is staring into Jaehyun’s eyes, the streetlamps reflecting off of his irises, brown eyes dripping honey. </p><p>Jaehyun runs his fingers along the column of Sicheng’s neck. Sicheng tries to lean in to kiss him again, but Jaehyun puts a hand on his chest. </p><p>Sicheng whines. He’s not used to not getting what he wants. “Why are you stopping me? I thought we were going to makeout,” Sicheng pouts. </p><p>“It’s fun seeing you riled up,” Jaehyun says, gripping Sicheng’s shirt a bit tighter. Sicheng goes to lean in, and Jaehyun meets him halfway. </p><p>The kiss is greasy. Nothing like their first kiss. More want, more spit, more tongue. More everything. Sicheng feels as if he’s on the same wavelength, moaning into Jaehyun’s mouth. </p><p>This just causes Jaehyun to kiss him back harder, gripping his shirt even tighter. </p><p>Sicheng moves from Jaehyun’s mouth to his chin, sucking onto the soft skin there. </p><p>“You know Sicheng,” <i>--pant</i> “I’d never thought you’d be giving me a hickey.”<br/>
Sicheng pulls back, satisfied with his work. The red marks starting to form along Jaehyun’s chin being an indication of that. </p><p>Sicheng leans back in for another feverish kiss. Nothing beats this. Sicheng wants to stay here, in this moment for the rest of his life. In Jaehyun’s lap, slightly hunched over, placing bruising kisses on to Jaehyun’s lips. </p><p>Jaehyun groans as Sicheng bites down onto his lip. Each kiss is better than the last. More want, more passion. Sicheng will never get enough. There’s no getting past this. </p><p>Jaehyun pulls away and starts working on Sicheng’s neck. He groans as Jaehyun finds the best spot on his neck, and works on marking and bruising it. </p><p>Sicheng is running his hands through Jaehyun’s hair, messing up the once neatly styled ash-blue locks. He notes to himself that Jaehyun’s hair is soft.</p><p>Sicheng tugs at Jaehyun’s bowtie, undoing it completely before getting to the buttons of his shirt. He gets his hands underneath the first few buttons. </p><p>“God, Jaehyun, I never want to do this with anyone else again, only you.” Jaehyun looks up at Sicheng. Jaehyun--he’s a mess. But a hot mess to Sicheng. Hair messed up from where Sicheng had run his hands through it, hickeys lining his neck, swollen lips, and blown out eyes. But god, oh god was that hot to Sicheng. </p><p>“You’re so sexy, Sicheng.” Jaehyun says, blushing. </p><p>Sicheng laughs a little bit and places one more kiss to Jaehyun’s lips before climbing back over the console to the passenger seat. </p><p>“You’re pretty sexy too, if I do say so myself.” Jaehyun leans over to capture Sicheng’s lips one more time. “Let’s make it look like we didn’t just make out--I’m hungry.”</p><p>-</p><p>Sure, the cashier might give them weird looks when they walk into the restaurant. Sure, the food is unhealthy. But when Jaehyun squeeze’s Sicheng’s hand while they wait, he knows everything is going to be okay. </p><p>He’s waited, (not long, but still pretty long in his opinion) for Jaehyun, and he’s glad he has him now. It’s never easy, it’s never fast, but it’s theirs. Their relationship, their life, and their way of navigation. </p><p>Sicheng doesn’t verbalize his love the same way Jaehyun does, but he knows Jaehyun knows his love is there. Jaehyun confesses first, face red. They’re at the same burger joint from six months ago. “You don’t have to say it back, I know it takes time.” Sicheng nods and intertwines their hands. </p><p>His face is flushed too. </p><p>Later, (but never too late,) Sicheng comes to the realization. It’s not a rainbows and glitter moment, but Sicheng knows. </p><p>They’re making out on Minghao’s couch, (Romantic, right?) during movie night, but everyone has already fallen asleep. It’s when Sicheng pulls back, and he sees Jaehyun. Pupils blown, cheeks flushed, and lips slightly bruised. That’s the moment he knows there will be nobody else. Jaehyun, always.  </p><p>“I love you.” Sicheng chokes out. It feels unnatural, but that’s what his love-drunk brain says. He goes off of instinct. </p><p>Jaehyun’s smile is brighter than a thousand stars. “I love you, too.” He says, pulling him in for another open mouthed kiss.</p>
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